Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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