i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
