I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
