I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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