I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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