Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Randomize
