You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Still dying that you shit outside
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
