So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm at about main and main street
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
