just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
whose parrot is this?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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