Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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