he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
