We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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