The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
