spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
