I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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