You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
