My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
