How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
