Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
