I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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