I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
