My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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