he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
