I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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