Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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