I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
