Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
