the new term for farting is butt boxing.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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