she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
