Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
