dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
