Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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