I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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