Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
