wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
