just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
