the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
