Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
