I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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