shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
