So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
