on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
