lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize