i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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