Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
