Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
