Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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