can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
