he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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