i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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