my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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