I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
So much rum. So many feels.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
