Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
