Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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