i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
