It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
