Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
