Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
