I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
