guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
