I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
