We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
