One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
