Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
